Bachlorette Blooper

On a lighter note…

As my husband sat down on the couch beside me, he said, “You have two choices.  You can watch voluntarily, or I’ll make you watch by putting toothpicks under your eyelids.”

Clearly I opted for the voluntary option – under GREAT duress.  He turned the station to ABC and Desiree was riding a big, bay draft cross down a path in Antigua.  Waiting at the other end was Drew, who hauled himself up onto an almost equally large Paint cross. 

I thought, ‘Wow, those are some nice looking horses.  Shiny, in good condition.  Usually when you see people on a tropical island vacation going for a ride, they’re on sickly looking old nags.’  What I said was,  “Wow, those are some nice looking horses.  Shiny, in good condition.  Usually when you see people on a tropical island vacation going for a ride, they’re on sickly looking old nags.” 

So enthralled with the show, hubby said nothing, so I repeated myself.

*Grunt*  (Awesome!  He’s listening.)

They rode at a lackadaisical walk down to the beach and dismounted.  A few seconds later I perked up.  “Did I just see that?!”

“Yep,” he said.

“That really happened, didn’t it?!”

“Yep,” he repeated.

So what did the rest of you think when you saw that?  Oh, you don’t watch reality TV, really?  Tsk, tsk.  Well, the show had edited out the part where our lovebirds had dismounted.  On the beach and getting settled down to have that ‘I’m breaking up with you’ heart-to-heart talk, for a split second the Paint cross walked into the camera shot, his/her head down sniffing the sand for a blade of grass with the reins dragging on the ground, then another quick edit and the horse was gone.

I live for these TV and movie gaffs  It’s an opportunity to act incredulous.  Like The Mask Of Zorro movie, starring Anthony Hopkins as the aged Zorro.  The narration in the background talking about Toronado being a rare, black Andalusian, while a Friesian filled the movie screen.  I darn near leapt to my feet, feeling insulted on all fronts that the producers thought they could fool me into mistaking a Friesian for an Andalusian.  Pfft!  Not even if I was blind, dudes.

For fun, let’s list all the TV and movie horse errors that Hollywood has made.

46 thoughts on “Bachlorette Blooper

  1. The Black Stallion movies always cracked me up…for one we have an Arab racing at Aquaduct…with an under aged jockey. Said under age jockey tosses his crop-which would disqualify him as he would not weigh in right. If I had a better memory I could go on and on LOL…..;-)

    • I will defend the Black Stallion book, however, while not realistic, it did make the race a three way challenge match, not an official Jockey Club event, first horse under the wire, wins, was the only rule.

      Out of the West is an independent film made at least 20 years ago that used about four horses for the main horse character, and since it required a wide variety of quality stunts, from grand prix jumping to living inside an apartnment of an Irish tenement, they used some very different horses. But it was a fascinating tale nontheless.

  2. Okay. The incessant need to edit in constant horse whinnying sounds in every scene in a horse show. Drives me nuts.

  3. Putting whinny sounds EVERYWHERE, especially when the horse gapes his mouth open in pain.

    Riders cranking on the horse’s mouth.

    The Black Stallion was an Arab racing in a TB’s race….

    Zorro, and as you said, the Friesian vs. Andalusian thing.

    War Horse – that horse ran full force through several heavy fences of barbed wire, and then got caught hard enough to FLIP HIMSELF and was unharmed.

    The Young Black Stallion (I believe) the horses were in the wild and there was an Arab mother and a Friesian stallion. I don’t recall those being in the wild?

  4. Hey, it’s called acting. I wasn’t offended by the Friesian in Zorro, that friesian was “acting” the part of an andalusian. I kind of liked that they referred to the horse as an andalusian, because that is the kind of horse that would have been around there. As I recall, Zorro sneaked into the barn and tried to make like the horse and he were one, but the horse took off with him – a funny and more realistic bit. I believe that during the last part of the race in Hidalgo, the rider temporarily lost his saddle, luckily it was back on in the next clip. But my favorite is when Clint Eastwood or Sam Elliot ride into town and see all the bad guys horses tied in front of the saloon. They may be tough, but they are really handy with rake and shovel, not a road apple in sight.

    • Ha I love this! I’m always complaining to my husband about these “horsey bloopers.” I also told him about the Paint about to step on his reins in The Bachelorette!
      I have noticed that the Friesian does seem to be the movie director’s horse of choice (but who can blame them really?)
      Most horse movies I just roll my eyes through.
      In my opinion, some better movies involving horses are : The Man from Snowy River, Bite the Bullet, Ladyhawke (only because the Freisian is OMG beautiful)
      There are others but I’m drawing a blank now!

  5. I don’t have any movie bloopers that I can think of, but I was reading a children’s book this morning where the text said “Barbie is trotting on her horse.” and that horse was CLEARLY at a canter. Left lead. I hate it when children’s books mis-identify things like this. Seems they’re always calling the halter a bridle, or refer to a foal at a “colt”, even if it’s a female. I’m being picky? Maybe, but to me, it would be like showing a picture of a truck and calling it a car.

    • I see more problems in books as well. I was reading one book and was kind of enjoying it until they referred to a cremello gelding as “albino”. I put it down after reading that.

      • Double cream dilutes were still called albinos when I was a kid, and also in the Flicka books, which I think were reasonably well-informed. Though I have spent my whole life wondering what the Flicka books meant by “golden chestnut” which is the colour of all the “good” horses from the “good” family. There’s no indication it means palmino, though that might make sense with the renegade feral double cream dilute stalking the hills and trying to poach the ranch mares. OK, I haven’t read this since I was about 12 so may be missing some key plot points 🙂

  6. I am still disgusted how the “Horse Whisperer” started out with a Bay Morgan and somehow it transformed into a Sorrel QH. If Buck was the consultant, why didn’t he catch that? The movie was full of BS anyway. The book was better. How about a thread on movies that present really good riding/riders. Bo Derek did a movie featuring a Spanish rider who was absolutely magnificent. Bo was pretty magnificent too, especially where she was riding in the nude 🙂 (although I kept thinking, boy, I bet that itches) , but the male rider was superb. Also, I think that “The Man From Snowy River” features some amazing riding.

    • “The Derby Stallion” with Zac Effron (I don’t really like him, but still), he actually learned to ride for the movie. The scenes where he’s having a lesson in the movie are actually filmed while he’s having a real-life lesson. War Horse had some pretty good riding (despite all of it’s other downfalls, I did love that movie xD).

    • Snow River was the first movie I felt got it right with horses. Someone paid attention to detail! I get hives from horse hair….I can’t even imagine….um, no on the nude riding.

  7. The dubbed in whinnying in every movie and TV programme whenever a horse appears drives me nuts. And if you’re old enough do you remember TV cowboy programs like Bonanza and The Virginian? Not only were the horses always saddled, ready and waiting, but they went everywhere at a flat out gallop, Dam those horses must have been fit !

  8. One of the worst (And I won’t deny they were fairly bad movies all around!) was the recent Flicka films, where not only was Flicka a black mare rather than a chestnut filly, in Flicka 2 and 3, the ‘mustang’ miraculously became an arab! Continuity fail – especially since they kept referring to her as a mustang thoughout the films. Those movies also display some of the worst riding I’ve ever seen. The one with the eventing, I think it’s Flicka 3, allows you to see almost every rider land with a resounding *thud* on their horse’s back with each jump.

    I enjoyed Warhorse, Man From Snowy River and the Silver Brumby were both awesome (woo for Australian horse movies!) and there was some pretty good riding in Lord of the Rings, especially in Fellowship, where Arwen is being chased by the ringwraiths.

    I feel like mentioning to film makers that my horse has never, ever, ever whinnied while I was riding him, unless it was to call to his friend across the paddock. He certainly doesn’t make the vast array of sounds movie horses seem inclined to!

    • In Lord of the Rings, all of the extras were riders on their own horses they’d hired from around New Zealand. Most of them were women with some heavy effects makeup to look like men. They were willing to spend that extra money if that’s what it took to have good riders on the set. I believe they did what War Horse did for their main riders and sought out actors who could actually ride.

      • The only actor that I know of who didn’t rely heavily on a riding double was Viggo Mortensen. He learned to ride before they shot any of the riding scenes and then turned around and bought the horse that played Brego as there wasn’t a home for him once filming wrapped. I’m pretty sure even Sir Ian McKellen used a double – especially for the bareback/bridleless Shadowfax scenes. And all the hobbits had size doubles who were taught enough horse skills to stay out of the rider’s way xD

        • Speaking of actors who do their own riding, there’s a scene in a Star Trek movie, the one that’s the cross-over between the original cast and the Next Generation cast, where Captains Kirk and Picard go riding together. I read that the scene was requested because both actors are riders in real life and wanted a scene to ride together.

          There is also an episode of Star Trek: TNG where Captain Picard is shown riding on the holideck; he requests an Arabian and tells the holideck “I desire to control the animal myself”. They show him tacking up and riding and to my memory it’s a rare TV horse scene where everything looks fine and the actor looks comfortable on the horse.

          • I see to remember them also galloping in the movie (I’ve only seen it once, but have vivid memory for unexpected horse scenes in non-horsey movies) but I couldn’t find a clip of it. In this clip, I like how Kirk moves his horse over close to Picard’s, a moment where you can tell that Shatner actually rides, and how Picard’s horse makes cranky faces when Kirk’s horse gets close. It’s kind of like a reverse blooper… I’m sure most of the world wouldn’t notice, but if I was the director I would have been like “Cut! Start again! Horse made a cranky face, we’re not using that shot!”

          • Not only can Shatner ride – the horse he’s riding is his own, and the filming location is his ranch!

  9. Hidalgo got me banned from going to horse movies with my daughter LOL I kept saying “that’s a different horse ” I know the last scene someone was talking about. He was supposed to be riding his horse bareback in final shot of race but saddle kept showing up in the odd shot…too funny. Let’s not forget the stake that went into horses chest but by god he kept racing , shit my horse get tender feet and he wont go !!

    • Yeah all through Hidalgo I kept thinking about the teeniest little bump or cut and our horses will come up sore but Hidalgo can get impaled and keep on going! Wow!

      Also, it drove me nuts how when they turned the horse loose at the end, he had shoes on (kicked up his heels right at the camera giving a clear flash of shod rear hooves). I’m not sure if that counts as a blooper or not, but you’d think if you were turning a horse to go live wild and free you’d pull off the shoes?

  10. I saw War Horse at Lincoln Center, and the horse wasn’t even a horse, but a giant puppet. They clearly believed that they could get away with that without any horse people noticing.

      • I am pretty sure that was sarcasm. (Brooklyn, I saw the same “technique” in the Lion King – I’m a bit near-sighted but even I could tell those weren’t real lions!)

  11. I love the Man From Snowy River but if you watch closely there a couple of places where you can see the outriders during the herding scenes.

  12. I love when horses that are supposed to be portrayed as wild horses are immaculately groomed and fully shod. For example in Flicka the horse is obviously shod. Doesn’t make it realistic. They could at least edit them out. No matter how bad most horses can be my girlfriend and I still rush out and rent every cheesy horse movie!

  13. I had fun trying to count all the different horses that played the different parts in war horse. Foal, and broodmare was a gelding! Same gelding that was down and tangled in the barbed wire fence–Trainer said of this gelding that he does pathetic best! And the young horse galloping along side the automobile—did you all notice the aged horse mouth full of teeth? And the comming home scene with a gaited horse? All together I think nine horses were used to portray Joey. I really did enjoy the movie!

  14. In the 1999 film “An Ideal Husband” based on the Oscar Wilde play, the carriage driver drops his reins in the footwell and he’s got different shoes on to what were seen earlier on.

    The casebook of Sherlock Holmes has a team of 4 horses and a carriage and it sets off with a different arrangement of horses than how they end up when they arrive.

    The Horse whisperer has the same horse with a star and a blaze

    Black Beauty changes sex twice in the film!

    Braveheart has a shed load of horses wearing modern saddlery and including shots of Mel Gibson riding western style!

    Heck there’s hardly a film produced that doesn’t have changes of horses and tack.

  15. I hope they someday make a movie about Sergeant Reckless, bloopers or not. That was one incredible horse. But how many Korean racing thoroughbreds are hanging out in Hollywood?

  16. Not a movie blooper, but the fantasy book series “The Wheel of Time” made me cringe horribly. In the first book, the characters are running from bad guys on horseback. They are galloping over a long series of hills. Not only do they gallop all day, but they slow down to go up the hills, then pick up speed and fly down the other side. (Maybe the author thinks horses have wheels?)

    Even worse, at one point, a character doesn’t have a sheath for his sword, so he just sticks it under his horse’s girth. I’m really, really not sure how the author even pictured that being possible…?

    • Wh-what?? Please tell me that after sticking his sword through his girth, the saddle falls off and he ends up in the dirt? Because that is a monumentally stupid idea . . . And of course, all horses can gallop all day and all night over hills! They’re just like machines! One book that did do a good job of the horses was the Chaos Walking Trilogy by Patrick Ness – the two main horses, Angharrad and Acorn were almost real characters, had personalities, and realistic reactions, even though it wasn’t really a horse book. I liked that!

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