I Like My Men…



Wolverine, Dean Winchester, James Bond. When I’m embracing my inner damsel-in-distress, I need a real man to come to my rescue and save me, even if only in my dreams.

The guy in the following video is clearly tough; look, no helmet. We might even argue the shirtlessness makes him fearless, though, I think it crosses the stupid line.  But what removes him as a candidate from my tough guy list (because even in my dreams I have standards) is the fact that he thought this was okay to do in the first place.  I love the disclaimer below the video; “I don’t usually train them this way, but…” Uh, huh. Whatever, dude. My only regret is that it was your girlfriend/sister/booty-call who got lawn-darted and not you, although if she’s the one that proclaimed at the 1:37 mark of the video; ‘Look at her, she’s broke!” then maybe getting tossed on her head helped in some small way.

Quick Break!  Really? 

Here are some more tough men. Real ‘ca-boys’. It’s a 9-minute video, and to be honest I didn’t get past the 1-minute mark. So maybe it gets better? All I could see was terrified prey animals trying with all their might to get away to safety. Then I thought about all the soft tissue and skeletal trauma that was happening, while their heads were being pulled around and they were being yanked off balanced.  Shame on every single person in the stands who are clapping and cheering. 

Wild Horse Race – *Gag Me*

But wait!  We start’em young.

Future Tough Guys

I don’t want to pick on just the folks on this side of the ocean, so here are some of our Spanish brethren showing that barbarianism exists in all cultures. Such despicable treatment of horses in this day and age is unacceptable. I want to terrorize every single one of them and yank them around until they are mentally and emotionally broken.

The Spanish Version

And here’s the same thing, but packaged with some pretty accented talk and Elvis Presley eyes.

Outback Version

I think that last offends me the most.   “Because we have so many horses to get through in such a short time….”  Well, gosh, in that case you’re totally justified in your methods; it’s for their own good.  Let me take some notes:

  1. When I want a prideful horse to trust me, I make sure he’s confused and scared then force him to submit into the most defenseless position he instinctively knows.  Petting him on the neck then, pretending I give a shit, seals the deal.
  2. Breaking-in is okay, especially if I don’t have much time.  Even though the definition of break (v) is: to separate into parts, as in to damage by separating into parts.  And if that’s not clear, then how about this list of synonyms: smash, fracture, rupture, shatter, split, crack, sever.  Oh, yeah.  I’m all about breaking-in horses.
  3. If at first you get face planted; try, try again because clearly what you’re doing is working.

I still like my men tough, but I also like them to respect animals and treat them accordingly.  If my man baby talks to an animal when he doesn’t think anyone is looking, all the better.

Real Men Are Kind To Animals – And So Are Tough Men

Do not fear male readers of Hooves, I’m getting to the ladies…


53 thoughts on “I Like My Men…

  1. I’m so tired of people abusing animals that I won’t watch these vids. I just don’t understand people at all.

  2. The trainers I admire are the ones who figure if the horse bucks with them they have failed somewhere. Sure there are some who crow-hop a bit but even that shows a horse not understanding. Any ‘rider’ or audience who who cheers a bucking horse is only having fun or showing off at the expense of the fear/pain/discomfort of a animal and is contemptible is my estimation. And I know a lot of people will bring up rodeo horses here – that’s something I also have reservations about but on a different level. These videos just show ‘wannabees’ and unfortunately, encourage more red-necks to go out and try some animal abuse themselves. Too bad they don’t stick to dirt bikes and quads.

  3. Mute it, they put cheesy sound effects in that make your brain hurt. BUT that’s a tough little filly and she gave that idiot what was coming to him!

    This guy also learned his lesson the hard way. That is not how you mount a horse, sir!

  4. I see all sort of crap on the internet and I really wonder at times at the mindset of people. Case in point is the video of a female dog pawing an autistic boy. Everyone posts and says how cute this video is that the dog is so gentle and yet I see something far different, I see a child being bullied by the dominate dog. The child uses all his knowledge to convey to the dog he dosn’t want the dog to do the pawing on him including hugging the dog to show him he dosn’t like it. Yet all people will see is how gentle this dog is and not how upset this boy is at what the dog is doing. I see the same thing with these types of videos. The first one where you see the unusual stance of the mare’s hind end should have convinced people to back off. I wish people would look further into what they are acrually seeing. The wild horse rides are a disgrace and should have been banned years ago. I do blame the rodeo sport for this continuation of these types of events. What a horrible experience for these animals and I can’t help but think it becomes engrained into their DNA permanently this dispicable abuse to these animals.

    • I saw that dog and autistic boy video just the other day. I also didn’t think it was ‘cute’. The boy seemed quite overwhelmed and many times pushed the dog away. I wondered why a parent/adult didn’t put the dog in a down-stay and let the boy approach the dog, if and when, he was ready.

  5. Well I can’t view any of the videos Mercedes posted as none are available for tablet devices. But I’ll take your word for it

    Are you going to post about fat, middle aged women hoarders? I know it’s also a stereotype but there’s a lot of them.

    • I’ll see what I can dig up. I actually had a special video in mind just for you. Too bad you’re attached to your tablet. You’d think somebody would come up with technology for it that would allow you to access standard You Tube videos.

      • It’s nothing to do with my technology. It’s because the people who uploaded the videos haven’t given permission for it to be viewed on a mobile device and that’s the message I get when I click on it.

        Though I can see them now I’m on the PC.

      • We only have an iPad, so I haven’t been able to see them either but I can imagine what they might entail.

  6. Jesus… I couldn’t make it through more than 30 seconds of any of the videos (although the one of the Spanish guy getting drug around did make me smile… too bad the horse didn’t back up and smash his head)

    • Did you see the one of the large (loose term) woman trying to haul her enormous self off the back of a pickup onto an unsuspecting, poor soul of a small horse? Haven’t seen it in years, think it showed up on fhotd. Also rated R for redneck f-bombs. It’s lovely.

  7. Did you see that cat food commercial with the autistic kid and the kitty that was KNEADING his face? Everyone was all awww but I’m sitting there like “his claws are right by his eyes! All that takes is a miscalculation on the cats part or the little boy to move suddenly and bam, his eye is damaged.”

  8. Video one reminds me of why I’m HAPPILY single. If I ever did anything that stupid, the vid would be destroyed, pronto. Knuckledraggin’ fool should’ve gone flying off and tangled in an electric fence – now THAT would cause me to hit rewind again and again. Sorry, no pity for the broad either…too distracted by all the tramp stamps.

    Not going to watch the remainder, need my brain functioning for a meeting in the morn. But really, why is it almost always the MEN doing the worst things to animals? And thinking it’s right? Someone needs to give them a laundry list and keep them out of the barns.

    • You must watch the last one, Real Men.

      ‘Tramp stamps?’ Okay, that one almost made me choke on my Coke, except for the fact I can do two things at once, unlike some of us here. *beg* BTW, I have a really nice tattoo, imo; a pencil sketch of a Lipizzaner and SRS rider doing a levade.

  9. I think that the disconnect here is that people who truly connect with animals can read them the way most people read a book. Those of us who have had a horse for any length of time can tell how the horse is feeling just by looking at it. People who do not have this ability will never understand horses, and even though they may work with them, will always be at odds with them.

    I like Sean Connery too, but for the ladies, may I suggest a movie called “the Silver Brumby”. A nice story, incredible scenery, and a young Russell Crowe.

    • YES!! I love this movie so much! The first time I watched it I bawled. Went up stairs in tears to tell Mom how great it was, she kinda freaked out a bit. Bawling child blubbering about horses.

  10. Just re- reading the Silver Brumby, I enjoyed it as a child, it’s nice to re-read it as an adult 🙂
    I haven’t seen the movie.
    I am sadden by video’s showing that treatment of horses. It just shouldn’t be entertainment, and I can’t understand why anyone would think it is.
    I am lucky that my hubby likes animals, he likes eating them too! But he wants to make sure that all our animals have shelter, lots of food and no stress in their lives.
    I often catch him giving Rosie the horse a pat, and it’s nice to see!

  11. About that last video- Doesn’t that seems awfully staged to you? Seriously? “Gathering a bouquet for his 93 year old aunt.” With a camera following him? Yeah, I believe that.
    Yes, it’s nice to see someone being nice to an animal, role-modeling, etc. I have no objections to that. However, if you come “gathering bouquets” in my neighborhood, please just pat my horse. He doesn’t need extra food from strangers. We’re watching his weight!

    • LOL! You’re absolutely right that video might have been staged, but it was the only one I could find of a big, burly, tattooed guy showing love for an ‘almost a horse’. But I did think it was totally possible he was bringing flowers to his aunt…look at the hat he’s wearing. LOL!

  12. The positive comments on that first video are ignorant and disturbing. And the repeated justification that he had no choice because the customer wanted it done NOW is purely disgusting. The end justifies the means (even more offensive since he is clearly not at all capable of judging the quality of the end result) Smug ass. He should be getting his testosterone fix elsewhere – maybe in a barefist boxing ring with Chuck Norris.

    I’m no bunny-hugger; but the horses I start generally do not buck. When they do (very, very rarely) it is momentary and due to some provocation.

  13. I soooo wanted to leave a reply on YouTube, but figured these mouth-breathing idiots would then flame me on my account.Of course you have to open yourself up to that if you want to give anything a thumbs-down. I figure the “cowgirl”‘s IQ is tallied by how many earrings she has in her one ear…yeah, she looks like a “booty-call”. They have time to get piercings and ink but none to get a horse ready to be approached by a frigging saddle pad. I would have loved it if the other idiot had fallen off and gotten a shitload of hide scraped off that naked chest…WHAT THE HELL *WAS* THAT?!

    Know this, self- proclaimed “cowboys and cowgirl”: YOU SUCK. I don’t care how good your seat is. There are a lot of saddles out there too that have good seats on them but when they still ruin horses or hurt people, they still suck. Just like you. God forbid you put any “prior and proper preparation” on that horse. (Yeah, I hear a gasp going up out there…a Parellism! Yep, I said it. He got a few things right way back when even if many of us see him as a jerk now too. Some of the stuff was good way back when before it became a cult following.)

    • re Parelli – I’m with you there. Saw the man long ago, when he was an unknown travelling on his own (I don’t even remember him bringing his horse) without the circus. His way of looking at horses really changed my way of dealing with them and I still use much of what I learned from him. The corruption of that ideal and the resulting cult of weirdness that has evolved turned me off long ago. Its a shame because I think he had, and probably still has, a lot to offer horses if he quit believing his own hype.

  14. So now I’m on the PC….
    The video you’ve tagged “Wild Horse Race” and the one you’ve tagged “Future Tough Guys” both link to the same clip.

    For me that’s the worst one. Just a load of brutal abuse and all done for amusement and as a spectator sport! I was REALLY hoping that at least one of those guys got his head crushed! Then I thought “what the heck am I thinking!”…. it needs to be his testicles….. his head clearly doesn’t contain much of worth!

    It sickened me and as much for the audience whooping and cheering them on!

    The one titled “Quick break” is the sort I struggle to understand…. stupid people doing stupid things and then putting it on the world wide interwebz for everyone to see how stupid they are!

    Mercedes it’s worth watching if only to appreciate there’s as many stupid women involved as there were stupid men and at the end you get the pleasure of seeing one of the stupid women cut and bruised and damaged just as she deserved!

    Oh and of course there is the obligatory fat arsed “trailer trash type” ladies … livin’ the dream of being cowgirls!

    The penultimate video I get the message
    “The uploader has not made this video available in your country”

    The last one was a little odd with the bunch of pansies but hey ho whatever turns you on 😉

    • I did watch the redneck one. I didn’t watch the whole of the 9-minute one.

      ACK! Yep, wrong link on the Future Tough Guy video….got to go see if I can find the proper video again. Thanks for point that out and shame on the rest of you for not telling me it was a repeat!!

      The one you can’t watch is a guy ‘breaking’ horse from the Australian Outback. It’s all done up like a nice little ‘documentary’, but essentially it’s the same as the rest. We don’t have time so we force horses to lay down, then we throw a saddle on them and ride them around in a round pen until they decide to stop bucking.

      Okay, off to see if I can find the proper link for that other one.

      • I used ti “flip” kids ponies to get me through college- average “flip” took over three months so maybe flipping is not the right term? If a pony bucked then you were doing something wrong and you went back and started over, basically. No wild west shows for me, sorry! One nasty little jumped up outdoor brick toilet of a Sec C Welsh did get dumped by me- he was already saddle trained but we got him off the knacker lorry because he had started some shenanigans that made him dangerous for children – like coming backwards at you with his heels and whirling in circles til you got dizzy and fell off then jumping all over you! We gave a “come to Jesus” moment and I do not think, in hindsight, that I would do it any differently today, as, once he had been dumped on the floor he was so flabbergasted that we could do pretty much anything with him. Sometimes, rarely it’s true but sometimes, extreme measures are called for! My pony went back to being a really good anfd honest kid’s pony- we let him go on a moths trial, just in case, but he never back slid…

        • Yes there are times when unruffled patience ain’t gonna do it – and that is where the horse is dangerous. Kicking, biting, stomping etcetera are fortunately rare but have to be met with STRONG correction given by (and this is vitally important) a knowledgeable horse person. The sad fact is that these behaviors are often trained in by kind-hearted, less than knowledgeable owners and those people don’t have enough experience to correct the problem or find the right trainer – thus the kill buyers profit.

  15. Actually I didn’t think the outback one was that bad. To this day, the cowboys around here still break them that way to a degree. They end up with good solid ranch mounts.

    • There’s a large segment in the equine world that find that acceptable and are quite happy with the automaton created. I don’t, personally, want to ride ‘that’ horse, but I know it’s a horse that meets the requirements of a lot of people.

      I object to forcing a horse to lay down. As a prey animal that is a position of defenselessness and instinctively means death. In no way was that horse showing his ‘trust’ or showing that he was ‘learning to trust’ the man who put him on the ground. What I believe it does to the horse’s psyche is not acceptable to me. This is not an animal that is laying there, reasoning out his situation. He just thinks he’s going to die. ‘Freezing’ and submitting as he does is a survival mechanism…’If I don’t move, maybe the predator will go away or drop their guard and then I can escape.’

      I also object to putting a saddle on and climbing aboard and ‘bucking out a horse’. I also don’t like the idea of how easy it is for the horse to be hurt/get hurt. It needs only to run into one of those steel panels, get a leg over, try to jump it etc…The horse is not thinking clearly when it’s objecting to the rider above it. It’s trying to free itself and it’s scared. It’s not acceptable to me to purposely scare horses as a method to ‘break them’.

  16. I trained my 6-year-old myself. Note that I say TRAINED. We took it slow and one step at a time and she didn’t buck with me until she (apparently) decided she didn’t like the western saddle I was using anymore. It made me feel a little more secure, but I moved to the English saddle and we have only had “yahoo” bucks since. (AKA cantering across a field is so much fun I just have to go up!)

    I don’t understand the idea of letting a horse live its life in ignorance of handling until “it’s time to ride.” Handling my baby from day one meant that as soon as it was time to get on, she could not have cared less.

  17. I remember seeing a video a while back about two retired cowboys who still kept some bulls around to ride; trail ride that is. They look like two very gentle old cowboys who love their animals.

  18. Oh yes, let’s have a fat female hoarder post. Yes, then we can read all the same ol -same ol comments… “I see she can feed herself” and “maybe she should put the fork down and go feed the horses”. Three-legged lame. Next we’ll be ranking 1, 2, 3, which disciples are the most abusive or why nosebands are cruel (ha ha, j/k).
    I really like your conformation posts. I think alerts about abuse cases would be good, but a point and feel smug about the fat hoarder, c’mon, you can do better than that.

    • Well, at least wait until I post the fat female hoarder article before you condemn me for it. LOL!

      On a more serious note, I’m always taking suggestions for topics that people want to see. I have a short list currently, though, none are quick, easy topics to just throw together so it’ll take me time to compose them. But feel free to offer up your ideas, or better yet, compose an article on a topic you’d like to discuss and submit it to: thehoovesblog@gmail.com and as long as it’s in the English language and relatively comprehensible, I’ll post it.

  19. Lol, I was pissy this morning-not enough coffee & an obnoxious co-worker.
    I am SO very glad you picked up the reins from the fuglyblog & gave us faithful readers a place to go! I’m actually going to go back & re-read the posts now I have more time. Thank you, I know how hard it is to keep a blog up & you’re doing a great job.

    • Happy to have you, Ghoti, though I think I’m going to implement the first Hooves Blog rule: No commenting when not under the influence of caffeine (or nicotine if that’s applicable), or while at work being annoyed by a co-worker. 🙂

      Thanks for your kind words and be sure to tell your friends. The more, the merrier – I hope. LOL!

  20. Watching the “quick break” video makes me so angry! What a dangerous situation to put that poor mare into! It looks like the “cowboy” took a few good hits to his man parts…I sure hope it hurt, however knowing what this type of tough guy is like its probably not enough to dissuade him from doing this again

  21. I saw that Outback video on TV last night, and I was shocked (I watched the whole documentary) of the poor form of the riders. People who ride all day, every day should ahve a half decent seat, but I’m just a novice pony clubber and think I could sit nicer! (PS, sorry for any speeling mistakes, The comment box as it conmes up on my computer is about 1x2cm, I can’t see what I am typing!)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s